Miscellaneous Affairs

If you think its a good thing.

2011-12-15T16:19:00.003+08:00

If you think being the eldest is a good thing.
Then you are wrong.
Maybe it will be when you are just born.
you are treated with care, love and concern and lots of attention.
But the moment you are all grown up?
the care, love, concern and attention went to the other child.
Cos being the eldest means
you have to get scolding.
reprimanded for all things.
like keeping your room neat,
sweeping the floor,
dont watch tv.
not keeping the house neat.
WTF?!
im not the maid.
being the eldest child sucks!
treated like a princess when we does not know how the world works.
and when we finally understand how the world works,
we are not getting the same treatment.
this isn't fair.
if you can say all this things.
then why aren't you doing it yourself?

you can say you are working,
you are tired.
then aren't studying tired?
education now is different from the past.
everything is moving fast.

you are too shallow with your thinking.
too old.
generation gap.
damn you to be my father.

you dont live my life.
neither do anyone.
i live my own life.
i dont let anyone control me.
i like it, i do.
i dont like it, i dont do!

GET THAT STRAIGHT!

The world should be cursed.

2011-11-30T10:15:00.002+08:00

A day like this,
Not meant to see.
Losing things,
And heart breaking.
Hiding away from reality.
Going crazy.
This is not they way im going.
Where is the normal path?
Im falling sick.
Say what you want.
Im going far apart.
Drifiting.
Sending your heart away.
We not longer is one.
part on this path.
We're alone.
I've choose to let you go.
For i cannot allow this behaviour.
Im not one who can tolerate.
Tears that grows in my eyes.
Let it flow.
Do not keep it back in.
Gone shall it be.
For it will not be back again.
Be strong.
The path in front is dark.
But clearly seen of what's in front.
Its truth and reality,
I choose to fade away.
No one will notice.
Its one quiet move.
I dont even revolve around them.
Invisible is the name.
Im un-seen and lonely.
No longer believe in fates.
For fate brought me here today!
No what i always wanted.
Unfair.
i've nothing at all.
The world should be cursed.

Since young till now, I still dislike crowds.

2011-09-09T17:03:00.004+08:00

I am still afraid of looking out,
to face the outside world.

When i see you all smile like that.

Im holding back my breathe in.

Wondering if i have the day when i can smile like that.

I was born quiet.

Hard to open up.

To be the eldest among all siblings,

I have no one to look up to.

I have no one to follow.

No one to learn from.

That is when i start to only observe.

I rarely speak up.

I often question my smile.

Are they real?

I do not know.

Because im quiet,

I dont get people approaching me.

My friends do not know me that well.

Friendship end fast and dont last long.

I was the one to be left out among cliques.

They often talks about things that im not aware about.

I have problem being the center of attraction.

I have problem being loud and noisy.

I have problem being like you all.

Because i was molded this way by myself since young.

It was sad to see people enjoying themselves.

And all i can do is just to see from behind.

I hardly can last long in a talk.

What can i do?

Im born and nurture this way.

That is why i locked myself away from people.

I am afraid of falling.

I choose to stay in my own world,

Where i know i will never get hurt.

The chance where i took a step out of my world,

I fell badly.

It hurts so much.

Why? And no one know i cried.

Picking myself up with my skinned knees.

I choose to withdraw from the world.

Ever again....

Because all this things never failed to repeatedly happen to me....

!Sharalyn

I am still afraid of the crowds. i really do. I hate to be alone in crowded places.

A Time To Share

2011-09-08T21:25:00.003+08:00

All i want now is to stand back-faced a sea or pool and fall
back-ward into it and look at the world from beneath the water.

Feeling the pain in me

Like a devil grip upon my heart.

Suffocating and painful.

You do not know how that feel.

Don't try to understand me,
If you never will.
Its not a small world.

Its a world of darkness and sorrow.

That's how scary it is.

Camouflaging is my best fortress.
I'm not the angel you see.
Its the demon in me you're facing.

With every things that happening,

My hatred gets stronger.

I'm in this state all because of you.

I'll do anything to bring you down.

I'll consume your life, your happiness,

Your fate, your hopes and dreams.

Because im more than just a mere human.

This body is just a shell.

An equipment of movement and camouflaging.

So deadly and life-less.

Maybe i no longer know what i want,
because the dark has blinded my eyes from what i can see.

The darkness that was surrounding me,
Make me lose the hope and happiness that i once have.

I cried,
Not because I am sad,
But because I cannot recognise the right from wrong.
Abandon from the start.

I fear,

Not because I am scared of the dark.
But because I do not know what existed in the outside world.
I am alone,
Not because I have no friends.
But because I wish to understand the quietness of this world.

I do not talk,
Not because I am quiet.
But because I am trying to take in the environment around me.
Don't assume that you know me.

As you never do.
I am different from what you think I am.

Spread my wings and fly,
leaving my broken body behind.

The world will never be the same.
The things that once happens,
Will haunt you over and over again.

Control and gripping over your heart.
The pain will never ease.
Time can never heal your wound.
No one speak the truth.
Living in denial.
Like a broken mirror,
I trace the cracks.
Seeing the parts and pieces.
And my broken reflection.
Nothing is perfect.
The body; a weapon of destruction.
I spread my wings and fly.

Leaving my broken body behind.

Seeing the world from above.
Viewing of the ghost of their soul,
Born from the lies of their words.

Even with the light from the sun,
Its a gloomy and death-stench world.
A place where danger looms.
That was never my home...

Sharalyn-Dara
3poems done :D

Straight through my heart

2011-09-08T20:19:00.004+08:00

i guess i am just a machine of tools.
for friends and family.
treat me well when you all in good mood.

treat me badly, venting anger on me when things dont go right.

i dont think you all know that i still have a heart in me as well.

i feel hurt and pain as well.

the more you do it.

its not that i dont feel anything.

its that im retreating back to my own world.

the darkest of all.

!!! IM NOT EMO. IM JUST QUIET!!!!

just tear my heart up once again.

no matter how, because i seem to be able to heal myself afterwards.

im jealous. this world is selfish.

isn't god or buddha or whoever suppose to make us all fair.

i wish im not normal .

i wish im beyond just a normal human being.

i want to be more than just human.

i want more than it.

i want power, of earth, sky, universe.

everything.

i want to get back at everything.

i wish i was different.

this is not me at all.

2011-08-23T23:30:00.002+08:00

it really does not pay to be nice at all.
FUCKER!
you should die.
or maybe i should die.

FU!

start complaining to all the need-of-sex-guys friends of yours!
you're a slut, a prosp, a bitch. you flirt to get FB request.
next time, you will sleep to get a job!
useless, good for nothing.
dont ever ask me for help. all i can say is. im busy.
dont bother me.
that's what you say when i talk nicely to you.

fuck!

yeah, maybe you should die.

you are like a mold from dad!

the same attitude and character.

sell yourself and go against your family.

yeah, go ahead.

family is nothing to both of you.

take family for-granted.

you' a piece of bloody shit.
why are you 2 even part of this family?

we dont need yous.
yous dont deserve us.
FUCKERS!

its hell here. i swear.
you're life is hell now!

2011-08-14T20:07:00.003+08:00

WAAA!
re-ment is so awsome!
i will try my best to save money and go buy! ahhhhh! hahaha>

miniatures is the best! :D
so fun so fun so fun!

i found some places
hope they are still there.

and there are true.

so that i can get my hands on some of them!

<3

2011-08-14T20:07:00.001+08:00

WAAA!
re-ment is so awsome!
i will try my best tp save money and go buy! ahhhhh! hahaha>

miniatures is the best! :D
so fun so fun so fun!

F.?!

2011-08-14T17:50:00.001+08:00

we are not objects that you use to vent your anger
on when you game over when playing your game! =.=

WTF?!

2011-08-02T14:39:00.002+08:00

today yet another normal day.

nothing much .

late for class.

missed my attendance.

oh well.

no one cares.

i didn't finish my test paper.

for once.

today my bad habit came back.

i peel of my nail.

instead of cutting.

i peel it off, like nothing.

now im left with no nail to type msg.

and im encountering with huge difficulties.

sighhhh.

today feel so different.

since yesterday .

it have feel funny weird.

i dont know why

even messages also feel weird.

the whole thing is weird.

how?

i dont know.

maybe its just me?

nvm then.

i do not know anymore.

2011-08-01T15:26:00.002+08:00

i feel that some how im still gonna collapsed.

too many things happen.

im feeling too stress.

heavy-hearted!

so stuffy. so suffocated.

its like i almost cant breathe.

so many things happen.

i miscalculate the project schedule .

it isn't easy.

it as easy as i thought! ):

and i got a long way to go!

sighhhhh

ytd i had a disagreement with my dad.

i cried and shout in front of me.

im disappointed with my dad.

he changed too much .

im angry for myself being so weak.

i just tears so easily.

im just so weak now. so emotional.

i tried. i tried to be strong.

i did my best .

and i got no motivation for my work.

i didn't do enough .

last year of school.

and im slacking my life away.

that accident.

its not no one faults.

everyone got a part to play in it.

they all have wrong .

but no one choose to look at the reason and the depth of it.

they just look at the surface.

its selfish.

so selfish.

where is the rights?

the equality!

there is none.

not anymore.

so hard for me to talk to anyone now.

there one thing that im bad in.

is that im just bad in expressing myself.

in saying my problems out.

mouthing every word of it out.

i just cant do it.

for so long.

since the first problems i really encountered and faced in my life.

in primary 6.

since then. i told no one about anything.

i dont know.

dear blog.

now you are the only one to listen.

i have huge difficulties saying it out to my friends .

i cant tell my family. my family is having major problems now .

boyf have his own problems as well.

i have to do this on my own.

even if its means to be draining my own energy.

im tired.

i really am.

from all this things.

i need a long rest.

Up Till Now

2011-07-23T00:15:00.004+08:00

no one will be there whenever and forever.

there will bound to be times when you are alone.

all alone..

and in the end.

you will be all by yourself still.

this is reality!

almost all the friends do leave you.

they dont stay, for long.

i dont think they are to be called as friends.

just more like temporary-friends-like-stranger

no one will know how i feel.

really. no one.

because i cant mouth it.

and no one goes through the same as me.

no one.

no one can be more emo or lonely than me.

im just a empty shell now.

a temporary-disposable-friend.

hardly gets remember.

hardly!

pathetic.

a back-up-spare-friend,

use and throw

useless.

it all goes back to point one.

and this cycle start all over again,

and ends right back that the same point.

doesn't get to move out of the circle at all.

i was brought up to learn to be alone.

that's how my past 18 years of life have been!

GDI!

JLMA!

goodbyesss.. xoxo

2011-05-07T17:24:00.001+08:00

ナニ課如くダウンシテわたしのこころOの遣シテテイル。わたしは、WA河野subete Oのnozonde稲井。 Shikashi、私のこたえは関東府の痛みOのtasukeru。 Sonoの琴ないよニッケル私のこたえはなにOのokonau琴ガdekimasu。私のこころは、GA決定戦願をnoに。私のこたえは関東ないsutoppu。 Karera府ぶんデ鬱。私の如くiuをtachibaニッケル府もったいないよ。コレ府の生ビールはgēmudesuを市に。アナタが如く痛いOのつくる琴ガdekireba、アナタガカツ。あなたと府いけないbaai府、河野gēmuないdeteテイル。岳デはseizonを湯。ナニが如くアナタはseizon Oのkakuho恋するはsairyōにはhōhōdesuを飼いならす。わたしは、WA知らない。 Kesshitejissaiニッケルkarera思ふの課とのキモチニッケルのsa網テイルの課、園瞬間ニッケルhasseiシテ知らないひとOのbakkuのくみshitsumon！アナタのwaは、subeteないyuruyakana Oの寺キャクターイムトキニッケルわたしやせるkyōfu館Oのoboeruのkanjida！ Chūiのょしてください。シテon'nanoko府イムをkonranに！

1st week of school.

2011-04-26T11:55:00.005+08:00

is over alr .

finally. but tiring.

first week only.

do research and presentation.

but why so stress?

weird project calls for unnecessary stresssssss!

"so sinyee went off and lili was here @ 1:11pm :) with love"

yes. thank you liqi!~ hahahaa

and im back.

i'll post some pictures :D

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

nice hor! :D

ok! YAY! BYE!

-Sharalyn; 1.26pm

;having TOD3 lecture now!

2011-04-21T10:41:00.003+08:00

SMILE! cos you will never expect what will happen later.

Today in school.
done with the first assignments.

assigned time for presenting is 11:20

and the first group is to be start at 10am

but now its 10.44am and the first group is half way through.
i guess my group will present at 12? or 12 plus!

oh god!

scary!

my fringe!

it look nice ytd after i cut it. and now this morning...

sighhhh,

gone case.

wonder how long have i been not posting regularly alr.

hahahaha.

year 3 already.

cannot slack slack.

must pull up my socks!

I JUST DONT LOOK NICE IN MY WEB PHOTO!

=.=

VERY VERY SAD!

anywayyyyyyysssss,

im hungry already!

wahahhahahaha

i want eat roast burger!

had a date with the girls to go bugis, go shopping!
hahahahaha. spend my pay

even though

i dont like shopping!

hahahahha.

i want more leather bracelet!

LEATHER BRACELET!

sighhh. teacher comment, comment, comment, comment,

ask, ask, ask, ask, ask,

talk, talk, talk, talk, talk,

discuss, discuss, discuss,

SO WASTE TIME!

now each group gonna take up to 30-40mins or more to present!

NEW SCHOOL!

2011-04-20T22:52:00.004+08:00

Now im a year 3!

OH NO OH NO OH NO!
it means. self-motivation...

self-time-management....

more inspiration...

better ideas....

OH NO OH NO!

year 3...

year 3... year 3! ! !

HAHAHAHHAHA

new academic year.

new class.

new projects!

3days later, new hair! HAHHA

actually is just new fringe!

maybe it dont look that nice!

hahaha. idk eh! :P

HAPPY NEW SCHOOL YEAR!

Dinner & Dance

2011-04-06T17:32:00.003+08:00

yes. my first official prom night.

even though it wasn't batch of graduation night/party.

we went so as to fill us the seats.

now what to say?

the default stuffs...

" its fun.

meet all my friends there.

teachers are there as well.."

hehheh

everyone say the same things dont they?

that's why we all the same.

yeah. that's all.

cos im having mind blank now!

blah blah blah blah!

2011-04-06T17:09:00.002+08:00

sometimes, i really wonder, if i really grow up. Grow up to be who i thought i'll be. I can be mature, can be childish, can be evil, can be emo, can be elegant. anything! but is that who i want to be? is that who i want to portray myself as? i dont know. i try so much. searching for a perfect kind. yes, i know. not everyone is perfect. we cant be 100% perfect. i know how my eyes are small how im a bit fleshy, not that pretty. not good in schoolwork and makeup. there alot of things that u dont know. and there are also alot of things that i want to try out as well. but how? i dont have a target of life . i dont have a plan in life. i live day by day. and plan when i can see the day ahead. no one knows what i wants. i dont think anyone really understand me. when myself has been changing daily! everyday i feel different! there isn't a constant path that i can seek.

i want to someday migrate. or go for a holiday! alone! serious!

its no joke.

-Sharalyn

2011-03-23T22:54:00.002+08:00

Im in a relaxing mood now!

like twitting, manga, anime, TV shows.

just finish reading like 4 manga alr

just waiting for the continuous chapter to be release online

awesome much! *love

watching true blood, vampire diaries season 2..

and walking dead season 1...

and xxx holic and other tons of anime.

just came back from malaysia not long.

not say very fun,

not say very boring.

just like a normal trip.

): good things happen too,

bad things happen as well.

just like normal time. sighhh, normal times.

now working seems to be boring to me.

cos i dk what assignments i can assign to myself anymore. ):

and what to wear?

like bored uh!

what to do.

im bored.

i dont know what to do.

i love that little frog!

ok. i gues im done with blog.

tml i'll spam and takes pictures! then

i'll enjoy my life

with snacks, shows, drinks and everything else! wheeee!

byes!

-HSGIE!

it came to my thought again...

2011-03-04T09:31:00.003+08:00

im going Pretty much insane alr.

need to think about what to wear everyday still!

sighhhhh faggot!

scared later too shui bian

or too revealing!

OMGGGGG!

and plus no friends to do work with me. ):

like loner uh!

i rather got friends uh!

being alone is no fun.

since i have been experiencing it for like the half of my life in 19 years!

damn luh hor. damn!

이것은 단지 캔트, 수고 경우, 안전을 보장합니다.

뭔가 그럼에도 불구하고 자신을 보호하기 위해 바보 다할

것입니다. 하지만 어떻게해야할지? 이런 경우에 혼자 메신저!왜,

왜! 이미 난 충분히 외로워되었습니다. 그리고 지금. 더 외

로워? 저는 그냥 ... 어 죽을 수있어!

少なくとも彼らは今プレイジュンジエ、

JJ Linさんの歌です。私は、ずっと気分がいい。彼の声はと

ても心地よいです。いつで単独イム。私は考える傾向がある。たくさんだと

思います。私は自分自身に相談してください。分割秒数で指定します。

私は散策され、散策やIMのような行為の女王。非常識イム。間違いなく。

まあまあ長い1つだけをされた後。空腹イム。

im warning. the below content is parental Advisable.

please act as how i advise.

it just came back, came back to my mind and though again.

イム血に飢えている。供給することを必要とする空腹。

赤銅味の完全な口で嫌悪感を感じるように思っている。

カップからストレートまたは静脈のいずれかから暗赤色の血を飲む。

それに飢えているイム。私は自分の血を取る。

そのこと病気。ちょうどそれに飢えているイム。

多分私は有効にするためのいくつかの方法は何ですか？

私は本当に今欲しい。異なる感じるように。新しい人生を持っている。

私は一日中眠ることができます。強い感覚を持っています。

速い速度。牙、すべての。吸血鬼としてのブランドの新しい生活。

무엇을해야하나요? 모르겠어요. 정말로.

그것은 내가 너무 많은 시간을 원한 것 같군. 그래서 내가 인생을,

복수를 받아, 죽일수 있습니다. 그리고 아무도 그것을 누가 그랬는지

알 것입니다. 난 그냥 원하는 그렇게 심하게 그것 기원합니다.

ITP Day 1

2011-02-28T22:44:00.002+08:00

Day 1 of ITP.

it was fun. nice

friendly and awesome.

did my first project there. hahaha

cool!

really cool!

the place is nice,

quiet, 'natural'

and peaceful.

flexible.

i had fun there

hope the rest of the ITP days is the sameee..

-HSGIE

2011-02-26T00:18:00.001+08:00

The numbest heart ever!

today..

2011-02-25T23:36:00.003+08:00

but today was fun.

went to company,

its small, petite, cosy, expensive and woodyyyy.

went with baby.

after that we spend some times together before i head to sentosa

upon reaching at harbour front,

my shoes broke! :/

bought some cheap slippers that hurt my feet every step i take.

head over to sentosa,

and it started to rain heavily

hide under shelter with joems while waiting for

liqi, xulan nikki to get change.

yeah and koreans.....

then head to vivo, dinner, daiso, home.

was awesome.

awesome .

till i cry again.

train ride home, head was nvr tilt up. )':

im so lousy.

i nvr stop crying.

i dont know how.

why.

i hate to be crying.

goodnight...

i hate this world.

I HATE MY LIFE !

-HSGIE

2011-02-25T23:22:00.002+08:00

" Teddy Teddy, will you accompany me tonight? "

Tonight is very cold.

make sure you cover yourself up all snugglish!

how i wish you can wipe of the tears that just slide down my cheeks.

but then,

if you do it,
i'll probably cry even harder.

"When i though all was over, it isn't. in fact its just starting.

Just like a ferris wheel, it will still come back to that same point. "

Problems and difficulties never stop coming at me.

there is no off-day for them.

maybe i should just run non-stop

so that they will never catch upon me.

i'll just run, and run and run.......

till i can learn how to stop crying........

mirror of truth

2011-02-24T01:02:00.002+08:00

TA-DAH!

i know the truth

all of the truth

looks like im just self-deceiving.

pretend its was all i thgt it was.

but it wasn't

yes. it wasn't

among them,

nothing was real except for one.

yes. that only one.

goodnight!

2011-02-20T22:56:00.004+08:00

i want to be alone now.

make me crazy.

everything is gonna bottled up!

idc...

be it whether it kills me or not

cause me internal bleeding or not

make me cry every night or not

make me mentally unstable or not

ijdc.

someday, dont be shocked when you see me 'Hanging' .

SOMETIMES I REALLY HTINK THAT IM LIVING FOR THE SAKE OF HELPING PEOPLE.
AND MY FEELINGS SOMETIMES DOESN;T MATTER THAT MUCH ,

yes, like a robot friend/girlfriend.

2011-02-20T22:42:00.000+08:00

OMG!

this is so ridiculous!

a laughing stock!

2011-02-17T22:36:00.002+08:00

Dear Miss Rose,

Please stay strong, stay beautifully red,

beautifully bloom.

dont leave me.

dont wither.

I will be more than willing to talk with you,

feed you with water,

provide enough oxygen and sunlight!

Please just stay strong and healthy!

I love you!

2011-02-17T12:57:00.002+08:00

Time to Have Fun! :D

Submission is all over

i know i did badly!

yeah

that is for sure.

no doubt.

ITP is gonna start soon

need to settle some stuffs before itp!

sighhhhhhhh

ok. then what now?

i can relax a little,

watch some shows, dl some games.

and head out to shop!

AND AND AND BUY SHOESSS!

even though i have a handful of it at home, plus 2 new one!

yeah.

im starting to feel like the past already.

looks like the old me is finally coming home!

welcome home!

yeah! im having the i-really-hate-to-talk feeling!

serious!

its like opening my mouth to talk is a hassle

and i rather listen to them talk or just purely listen to my music

ok. gtg now~!

byes all!

Valentines' Surprise

2011-02-14T12:27:00.003+08:00

Dear Baby,

Happy Valentines!

thanks for the pretty rose.

and the beautiful dinner.

i always love you.

just like how i always do

its only you. 'loveeeee!

this relationship is not about me alone or you.

its about both of us together!

happy Sweet Valentines togetehr!

i love you!

Valentines'

2011-02-14T12:27:00.002+08:00

Valentines is here

2011-02-14T01:17:00.001+08:00

for once,

i stay strong!

Read, read, read all you want.

2011-02-13T18:19:00.003+08:00

up till today.

then i know.

that " In every family, there will be a child among all the siblings that will be neglected and ill-treated compare to the other child. "

so what if im the first child,

so what if i am given 100% when i was young.

i dont remember!

you can lie you can fake it all up.

cos i cant remember a thing to prove it.

picture can be fake.

a smiles is free and can easily fake it out!

all i want is to be able to talk to my dad properly

and be able to be care by you all.

why is it that just because im perform better than them,

im said to be fine?

i know my own condition.

its not getting better.

im all stuck in my own world,

in my brain.

mentally and psychologically.

i hate talking.

im serious!

talking is a hassle to me.

and i tend to talk to myself!

because, when im lonely, scared, neglected, sad, crying, doing work.

the only one i can get full support 24/7 is myself.

family only thinks im wasting electricity.

nvr really get concern abt my health or whatsoever

then in other ppl dictionary and definition of me!

is that i cant be tired! NEVER! even if i nvr sleep!

i cant say im tired as well!

its unfair.

why?

when sis or bro take an afternoon nap.

you all will still be fine.

and when i get an afternoon nap.

its me that gets all the bad comments.

eveyone though is the 2nd child that is being neglected.

but im the first child.

or maybe im the second after all.

my sis is the eldest of all.

she acts like one.

behave like one.

commanding and ordering and scolding me all around.

im tired of it.

i was never the child that my parent was proud of.

i guess.

they are never happy of me or what i do.

i feel like giving up my life now.

you will never know how sad i feel.

or how bad i want attention from them.

nothing will change the way i am now.

im sorry.

you missed the chance, you will never have it again.

i have to do something about the pain inside my heart.

i have to do something that will inflict a pain elsewhere,

to numb the pain in my heary.

it might not turn for the better

2011-02-10T22:41:00.003+08:00

*PSST! i dont like her!

still!

up till now!

i dont know why uh.

.but yeah! *

and im not gonna say who!

cos its for me to know and for you to guess.

unless you are in my head!

2011-02-08T19:19:00.002+08:00

每个人说人们在人间的最后一天，

都应该是快快乐乐的度过。

可是，

为事么当我把每一个‘今天’都当成我的嘴后一天，

我都感觉到这么痛苦？这么的心酸？

我在镜子里看到的自己，

不是一个新的自己。

而是看到了一前的自己，

因为我已经回到过去。

因为不了解这个世界，

我被困在自己的内心里。

当那第一次我跌倒的时候，

我在也不时那坚强，不容易哭得女孩子，

而是一个软弱，容易哭，敏感的女孩子。

想找回以前的我，

已经不是这么简单的事了。

再见了，以前的我。。。。

2011-02-04T15:54:00.001+08:00

Now, i just want to die.

or maybe just go into a deep long sleep and never wake up!

i don't care already!

cos i don't have a life!

fml!

at least i can die without wrinkles!

Lost

2011-02-04T15:26:00.002+08:00

i don't even know and understand the real me.

Where am i exactly?

i don't know.

A Nature Un-PLastic Surgery

2011-01-29T19:12:00.003+08:00

sobs.

life is unfair.

some people are born to be so beautiful.

why aren't i?

i want to be a model also!

tall and slim and beautiful.

model can earn a lot .

i want.

but because of some reason.

im not.

not slim not beautiful

not a model.

to want to become pretty is not a sin.

to want to love the camera is not a sin as well.

to want to take a lot of nice picture is also not a sin!

but im not like that.

i have to be more open up to this world~!

from now on,

im gonna try to love and do the things that i haven't had.

like taking loads of nice pictures!

and loving the camera and its lens.

to become pretty!

yes!

that's what im gonna do!

i will start now and will have a intense one during my ITP!

eat bread/biscuit/protein food/less carbs food and drink fruit juice/ drink vitamin drinks!

hehhehheh!

please!

oh please god!

make me able to do all this!

now i have a target!

cos i used to be the one feeling jealous of other people!

but now~ not anymore~!

i will make other jealous of me!

aspect to change uh! : like all uh! hahahahahah!

im doing a nature therapy!

想回到过去..

2011-01-27T23:03:00.001+08:00

there are just some pictures from the past .

can say is last year one! hahaha

i miss how the past is .

how fun how memorable.

yeah. i miss some ppl as well.

the past that is gone will never come back again .

nor will it be the same again .

even if the same situation is replay,

the feeling and experience is different.

yeah, back to topic.

my project is coming to a near end.

): \worriedsome face!

what to do?!

not all dont yet!

im so stress and tired and worn out!

i can just sleep whole day!

ok. i need to get back to my work!

i'll try to update asap hahhaa

time to go back to the past.

2011-01-26T21:57:00.004+08:00

it has been very long since i last put lower eye liner alr.

i kinda miss it.

maybe i'll try tml.

needa do my work now.

bye all!

my works is seriously not progressing much!

tired max!

i need a long long long break!

weekend and CNY are never enough uh!

f up course!

killer course!

Happy Birthday Dear!

2011-01-26T02:21:00.000+08:00

its his birthday, just a few hours ago.

so happy for him.

because he is in the 2x category.

no long the 1x already. haha

happy birthday dear.

i love you.

sorry for what still happen.

and i will love you still always.

have a great year ahead!

muacks!

2011-01-22T00:26:00.002+08:00

i just dont feel like sleeping.

maybe my opinion and feelings are not taken into consideration.

i guess its not that important anyway.

2011-01-18T20:43:00.002+08:00

Time to say goodbye,

the last on this earth!

and on to the 3rd world dimension!

2011-01-18T20:23:00.002+08:00

it is always different,

from the way she wish it was.

she cant speak,

she have no voice.

that's why there have been bottles in her heart.

since young,

she choose to not speak up.

because she dont have the courage.

there is not guts in her.

how much she wanted to talk,

you will never understand that.

she have once locked up herself from the world.

and into her own dimension.

it was dark and lonely and cold.

dont say you know!

cos you never really know!

she hid her emotion and real self from this world,

once.

and its gonna happen again.

hurt is no longer a word to her.

her body soul and mind have been immune to this word that has been inflicted on her.

goodbye to this world.

goodbye.....

i do not understand this feeling that is inside me.

Alice in wonderland

2011-01-18T02:05:00.003+08:00

i love names.

dont you?

i love names like;

PolkaDotsRibbon,

FifthMinutes,

RainbowsAndNumbers,

BalloonsAndInk,

FerisWheelInTheSky,

CherryToppings,

RainbowSprinkler,

FlowersAndKisses,

yeah...?

dont you all think so. hahha

i like it so much! :D

everyones wants to have everything!

hahaha

i want nothing.... ..... ..... i lied.

2011-01-18T00:46:00.002+08:00

i want to dance.

i want to camwhore!

i want to have snake-bites and piercing!

i want to be like that!

i want to fly!

2011-01-17T00:01:00.001+08:00

"Let it go. let All the bad things go and be free."

Times Just Flies

2011-01-16T23:07:00.003+08:00

December 28 2010

January 10 2010

January 24 2010

January 29 2010

March 17 2010

April 01 2010

May 01 2010

July 17 2010

September 15 2010

September 30 2010

October 30 2010

A Very Mini Photo Diary.

There isn't a lot of pictures here because we dont really like to take picture.

im sorry.

maybe we should take more!

I love you dear!

my baby,

i want you to know that you mean the world to me.

dont feel down.

dont feel lonely.

like what you say.

no matter what happen, we have each other.

maybe at certain time, you gotta speak up a little,

be more crazy with your friends.

because for me, i figure out my trick to be closer to my friend.

so that i can understand the topic they are talking.

and i too like you want to be closer to my friends and all.

the real trick is to " step out of your comfort zone"

temporary be someone you're not, be a different person occasionally in front of your friend.

let them see something new every day.

i know they want to be close to you as well.

you know you mean so much to me.

i dont like to cry.

nor do i want to see you cry.

be strong baby!

i have sth plan for your birthday!

we quarrel,

we argue,

we disagree,

we are disappointed,

sad, angry.

EVERYTHING!

but dont forget, we are a couple.

we are the only one that can get over this problem.

happiness is in our hands,

whether or not we will be happy also depend in our hand.

we have to work, and pay a price or even sacrifice something just for that happiness.

you have to believe in yourself.

cos you know i love you.

2011-01-16T22:58:00.001+08:00

i did something wrong.

the guilt inside me is killing me

im sorry.

im really. sorry.

please stop!

2011-01-16T14:05:00.002+08:00

just look back into my multiply account for all the poems that i have done so far.

yes. i have done a lot. and those words just wont come out if im gonna write a

composition!

it only appear when im gonna write a poem.

yeah.

so now im gonna try to compose a poem again.

but some how it seems a little hard.

cos i got no inspiration.

i know. sad.

i need to think a little harder for inspiration!

i still cant do it!

not now!

this course have already drain away a lot of my brain cell.

you will never know how much i want to write a poem now!

2011-01-16T13:49:00.003+08:00

im back on track.

im feeling like the old me again!

YAY!

*crowd cheer! *

thank you all that have been so caring for me!

love you all!

but im not totally recovered! hahaha ):

anyway i need to get back to my work alr!

hehheh

and i just found out something.

i dont really have any lastest photo of myself in my folder or phone or camera.

its sad i know.

as a girl,

i should camwhore now and then.

yeah....

im sick of my fb display picture. yeah. ):

YEAH AND OHHHHH! THIS THING MAKES ME FEEL SO STUPID!

I DIDNT KNOW THEY REALLY PLAY WITH MY WEBCAM! lol!

LOL! INVADE ONLY! =.=

today activitiessss!

2011-01-15T22:35:00.002+08:00

Today is awesome!

boyfrd came to my house.

then we slack ard. then he went to talk to my bro,

about a lot of stuff. about me, about his things, about cartoon.

about spongebob and patrick.

so cute uh!

hahahahaha.

wait for my mum and sis to be back home.

then we head out together to Hougang point NTUC to get some grocery.

we bought a lot of food. its was fun.

went home together.

then we started to prepare dinner.

he help with me and my mum too.

hehhe.

then i prepare the tang yuan with peanut soup for him.

he loved it!

and soon after that he went to the couch and rest.

i went over to see him and shock to see that he and my bro are both lying on the couch with their eyes almost closing.

both of them looks the same!

SO DAMN CUTEEEEE!

hahahahahahah!

finally, dinner is done!

then i eat dinner with baby first.

he was eating to happily .

it is so nice to see him eating at home.

especially is at my house.

and we watch hairspray together.

with my bro also.

not the home of the show, but part of it.

and he left before my dad is home.

hehhehheh. :D

it was an awesome awesome day today.

and im feeling much better now.

gonna start on my work now!

fever is gone,

only left with block nose, muscle ache,

and cough cough cough! hehheh.

stupid sister!

attitude me again!

lend her itouch also kaobei me!

dont lend also kaobei me!

fuck up uh!

she is just a typical damn ah lian!

that will got slash by other gangster!

someday for sure!

Happy Birthday Soebieeee

2011-01-05T01:22:00.001+08:00

Today is Yoseob Birthday

Yang Yo Seob of BEAST B2ST!

saengil chukha haminda! :D

happy 22nd birthday! :D

be the best of what you can be!

stay happy, stay cute, stay healthy!

Love! :D

YoSoeb (@helloimys)

loveeeeeeee

New Year Arrival + Updates!

2011-01-04T00:09:00.003+08:00

Early arrival of 2011
i hadnt expect it to come so soon.
i was hoping for a lot more time to enjoy :D

when i look back in time, it seems like i hadn't do much.
it seems like time wont spare me with extra seconds.

and it seems that i have not update my blog that often as well.

hmm. actually i should.

there is so much i want to say.

but i does not know how to phrase it out.

i wonder, everyday.

if there is any reader who will constantly drop my blog without fail.

just to see how i have been going through every day of my life.

hoping that i could say out more of my daily routine and life.

i dont mind if i only have a single reader.

i dont want publicity for my blog.

its alright. i know.

but then again.

why am i talking about this?

hahahahahah :D

weird! ikr!

i need to turn right and yet im turning left and getting further away from my topic.

yeah!

back to topic.

new year is here.

submission is on the end of January just before CNY

this year for CNY.

its gonna be a lil different.

not gonna expect much .

just gonna accept the reality .

yeah~!

trying to be mature.

im 18 already.

and also.

im trying to understand fashion more.

i try to slim more, but it always fail.

so im gonna ignore the slimming part.

and oh! i should be happy with what i have! :D

Love ! yes

hahahha

friends are more important than studies ! :D

i gotta admit to that!

i love my friends!

at first, i thgt i dont have much friends.

but i was wrong.

cos i didn't on the "light"

and after i on it. i found that i have a lot friends around me!

always! and forever!

now now now now

the major topic is here.

baby birthday is coming.

im trying to make a magnificent 3-D pop up card for him.

trying to get the perfect image!

have top wrap up his present also! :D

i hope he'll love it.

as you know, its hard to get the guy a perfect gift.

and they dont have sth that they really like,

like girls,

typical present like necklaces, jewellery, bag and plushies, chocolate, roses!

guys are difficult!

you have to understand them,

communicate more and more.

so as to figure out the things that he kinds like but miss it.

and those that he really like and admire.

ahahahha. its quite amazing and shocking when you find out about those things.

2010-12-30T21:59:00.002+08:00

they are fighting again
what can i do to stop them from fighting?
i try all i can do .

i try to shout!
i try to cry in front of them!
i get didi to go!
i try to reason with them!
i try to ignore them!
i throw things!
i smash object!
i cut myself!

but it just didn't work
they might be divorce.
all was like that because of me.
i was brought into this world because
of my grandfather wishes!
then my parent get married.
then i was born.
i was the one, then they get married

maybe, if i die.
everything will be back to normal.
if i was nvr brought to this earth.
they will nvr be fighting and quarreling like this

i have thgt of sacrificing my own life.
i have thgt of calling the police.
i thgt of doing everything i do!

WHY CANT THEY JUST TALK PROPERLY!
THEY CAN ASK PPL TO NOT SHOUT NOT QUARREL!
WHY CANT THEY DO IT THEMSELVES?!
FUCKER!

im emotionally unstable now.

maybe i should just die.

2010-12-25T16:26:00.002+08:00

recent updates.

FOTW!
awesome and fun!
nice nice!
how i wish FOTW can just keep going on and dont break camp!

family problem!
WHATEVER LUH!
IDC ALR!
FUCK!

christmas.
merry christmas to everyone

im tired
i need my own space.
might just find some private space!
yeah! really private.

私はそれに自分の道をやってみたい

2010-12-10T22:24:00.001+08:00

私は何をしたいだけの非常に単純です。高価なダイヤモンドの指輪やネックレスを必要としない、私はちょうど行って、自分自身を楽しみにしてさ自分自身をしたいのです。私は、またはコントロールでしつこくされるのは好きではない。私の周り注文しないでください！私の顔の世話をして、この摩耗を着用して私に聞かないでください。私は、それが良くなるでしょうし。体調を見てください！する場合は、そのことi dontはすること！しかし、私はちょうどカント！私カントはそれを作る場合は、私は数年前のモデル材料を見ているだろう！私は今まで待つか？！これだけ黙れ！ばか！dontは、私は、これを行うには'ドン、その食べて、これを使用すると、その着用し、これを脱いで、そんなことお願いtはこれを行うには、しないことを確認します。私は私の人生は大丈夫ですか？！私も私の権利を得た！私は自由を持って欲しい！あなたは好みに合わせて私を変更する必要がありますか？あなたの考え方を変えるカントはと一緒に行きたい理由は何私はありますか？！私はそれにうんざりしています。ギブアンドテイクの関係がありますか？私は与えて与えて私は、すべて私が取り戻すだけで、すべてのくだらないこと！のは私の神経になっている欲しいものを取り戻していない与えている理由は、友人を！家族！彼氏！すべて！学校の仕事！、すべての！私は十分でした！イム十分なものに適していないように見えます。イムだけでバックアッププランのように！予約を！、決して重要な人であった！いまいましい皆さん！
私はあなたのすべてを利用しています！

I'm done with it

2010-12-06T15:23:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2010-12-02T23:53:00.003+08:00

today is my birthday.

happy birthday to me!

yes!

finally,

im of legal age of 18

hahah!

im 18 already!

yay!

but i kinda miss 17! ):

NOW,

submission is over already.

i can finally relax and watch the hole loads of show!

TVD, TB, TWD, ANTM and so on!

how awesome!

i need to find a website that can allow free dl of True Blood Season 2!

yupps!

anyone who knows, can you please let me know! :D

and thank you to all those to wish me on my birthday! :D

love ya all! :D

really!

and thank you all so much again! hahaha

happy birthday to me.

im so tired now!

poor Designer

2010-11-05T21:11:00.003+08:00

poor designer.

do all designer think like that?

ITS LIKE ALL THEY CAN THINK ABOUT IS SUBMISSIONS, SUBMISSIONS, AND MORE SUBMISSIONS! AND PROJECT PROJECTS PROJECTS!

i guess they dont really have friends or life uh!

that's why they dont have leisure or break!

so poor thing!

lucky for me~!

im not gonna be following them!

screw this piece of shit!

SD aren't for human!

and i dont understand, why are we studying the architecture of design!

fk!~

i am talking interior design!

NOT DAMN INTERIOR ARCHITECTURE AND DESIGN!

until now! in this damn whole fucking 2 years.

i haven't do anything abt fixing furnitures into the house!

all im doing is study column, slabs and material to build the house!

fucker!

you all can go google "interior design" and it will tell you nothing abt architecture part!

do you all designers fail english?!

damn it!

this is a FUCKED UP COURSE!

2010-11-03T00:52:00.004+08:00

what reflected in my eyes... was that vast, blue sky.

a sky so beautiful, it almost hurts.

the disaster began just a short while ago.

before the petals fall, i'll be standing alone..

Memories always pull us back,

And forbid us to move forward.

2010-11-03T00:46:00.002+08:00

the older one get,

the harder it is to please them!

DAMN IT!

WHY MUST ALL THE PEOPLE JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT IM GOING THROUGH?!

MY DAMN ROTTEN LIFE IS NOT LIKE WHAT YOU THINK!

if you think, my life is like what you imagine or assume!

then thank you, fuck off!

i wont even wanna bother entertaining you!

FUCK!

teacher also same!

told alr that im busy with work!

STILL DARE COME SAY "FORGET IT! " TO ME!

WTF?!

damn uh!

teacher than big deal uh?!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

im so fed up now!

second11

2010-11-02T01:18:00.002+08:00

yes! its 2nd November already!

which means.......

1 MORW MONTH TO MY 18TH BIRTHDAY! YAYYYY! HAHAHAH!

needa get back to work now!

having my crit tml!

i hope i dont get harsh crit! ):

2010-11-01T20:03:00.001+08:00

its not gonna change.

i mean everything!

everything i have!

everything around me!

GET A LIFE LOSER!

2010-10-21T22:15:00.002+08:00

FCUK YOU PEOPLE AND LITTLE KIDS WHO BULLY MY BRO!~

i dont care how old are you.

as long as you bully my bro.

i wont let you get away with it!

damn you fcukers!

i was being bullied once,

till i was traumatized!

so i wont allow my bro to be like me.

curses and middle finger to you guys!

hope harsh and worst retribution fall on you guys!

may god bless you !

and i hope your live will be worst that a beggar in Low-Developed Country dying of thirst and heat!

DAMN YOU!

THINGS TO GET ! !

2010-10-21T16:21:00.002+08:00

- a new and sturdy, strong, cheap bagpack!

- a small cutting mat!

- laptop bag!

- mascara with comb-head!

- monthly contact lens!

that's it for now. i guess!

LOL!

irritating!

2010-10-18T11:29:00.002+08:00

stupid guys always make stupid assumption!

FK!

that's why i dont like talking to them!~

but somehow,

there a little of stupid guys in every guys!

=.=

maybe?

i guess so!~

maybe not all~!

2010-10-14T00:04:00.000+08:00

http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/515360.aspx

its cool!

i have an engineer boyfriend!

and im happy with it!

love him!

2010-10-03T23:36:00.003+08:00

so many things have happen!

. result will be out soon.

. gotta prepare my portfolio(which i got no clue to what i should do!)

. my uncle passed away(Condolences)

RESULT!

tml 9am. SD students result will be offically out on MYSAS.

OMGOSH!

how am i gonan face it?

a lot of ppl have been telling me that i can make it!

but the fact is that i cant!

i know how im gonna score!

Cs and Ds and maybe even worst!

Fs?!

im sure my GPA gonna drop this time round!

there are so many things that i want to do.

Have friends, GOOD GOOD friends to help me in my work.
):

its so.... idk what... !

so.

result, either i die. or i survive

i dont know also!

PORTFOLIO!

ok!

this is shit!

internship is coming. submitted my CVs and Cover Letters to lerturer alr.

waiting for her reply.

Company choose! just require their information!

portoflio! not done!

WHAT TO DO FOR IT?!

what should i put in?!

is it soft copy?

or hard copy?

get all my work down?!
HUH?! huh?! HUH?!

no information abt it is given?!

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF! =.=

Beloved Uncle!

God blessed my Uncle for all this while.

he left us without saying anything.

he left his wife and 3 kids behind without biding a proper farewell to them.

all is too sudden.

no illness, no sickness.

just a pain from his chest.

now he's gone.

hope he will find his journey there.

An Xin Shang Lu Ba, Gu Zhang.

we'll all miss you.

Good-Bye.

Sometimes, you really do have to treasure every single one beside you today!

Spend the time today with all your love ones like there's no tomorrow!

Because you wont know what will happen tomorrow!

Our Love

2010-10-03T23:29:00.002+08:00

Dear Boy,

Dont be frighten by that single dream alone.
A dream like that will not seperate us.
I will continue loving you,
Being together with you,
Now and forever.
I found out that you're one of the things,
That im happy to have when i open my eyes every monrning.
The motivation that keep me going.
My Boy,
You have become a large part of my Life now.
Everything i do,
Seems to have something that links with you!
I want to hold your hand forever.
I want to be your guardian angel,
That will pray for you, love you.
I will take good care of you.
And your precious little fragile heart.
I look upon as mine own.
Together, we create memories,
That no one can copy!
Together, we create happiness,
That no one can make!
Together, we create laughter and fun,
That no one can buy!
Cos what we have between is,
Is Love.
True Love,
That is made for us only.

I LOVE YOU; MY LITTLE BOY

2010-09-17T23:12:00.002+08:00

MY NEW EDITED LIST OF BIASEDDDDDDDDDDDD! :DD

Hyun Seung
Ki Kwang
Yo Seob
Doo Joon
Dong Woon
Jun Hyung
*YES! the whole of beast *
Lee Joon
Kevin
Xander
Min Ho
Lee Hong Ki
Karam
Mika

2010-09-11T20:02:00.004+08:00

dad!
i hope you will stay clean.
mentally and psychologically.
and nothing is going on between you and that slut.
i hope you will just stay in our family and
dont do anything stupid to spoil this family.

if you do, i cant ensure my safety.
i cant ensure i wont do anything.

yes. i have been emo,
been stupid, very stupid
and been foolish, very foolish.

i have done a lot of things and a lot of things have happen to me before.
so abrupt that i almost left this place.

even though im a coward,
i dont have guts to do a lot of things.
but 1 thing you doesn;t know is that i got a very very evil side of me.
that no one can stop.

try naming a few foolish and stupid stuff.
i'll tell you if i've done it before.

come on~
im not scared.
i might have done a lot before.

fcuk this world!

Most girls would love to hear this from the guy she likes

2010-09-09T02:35:00.001+08:00

Most girls would love to hear this from the guy she likes.
*Boy and Girl are walking around the mall*
Girl:Hey, do you think that girl is pretty? I do! *Points out pretty girl*
Boy:She’s alright.
Girl:Oh… Okay, how about that one? Shes really pretty! *Points out another girl*
Boy:Haha, that girl’s not pretty or ugly. She’s average.
Girl:Oh… you have really high standards.
Boy:I guess you can say that.
Girl:Okay, fine. Once you see one, point her out!
Boy:Haha, alright.
*Boy and Girl walk around some more*
Boy:OH! I found one!
Girl:Really?! Where?!
*Boy puts arm around Girl’s shoulder*
Boy:Right here.

2010-09-07T22:48:00.002+08:00

well. i have abandon my blog for some times.
im sorry.
but these few days i'm doing these :
eating,
sleeping,
atuocad-ing
3ds max-ing
sleeping at 2 plus
autocad-ing
3ds max-ing
going to school
head home
autocad-ing
3ds max-ing

YEAH! SUBMISSION DAMN IT FAGGOT IS ON 9 SEPT.
AND TODAY IS 7 SEPT, ENDING SOON.
AND I HAVE YET TO PRINT MY WORK.
GOTTA RUSH THE REST OUT TODAY.
):

YES. IM STRESS!
yes! im sad!
YES YES YES! IM EXHAUSTED!
HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING PROPERLY THESE FEW WEEKS!
sighhhhhhhhhhhh! D:

Happy Birthday to Jang Hyun Seung!

2010-09-03T00:51:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANG HYUN SEUNG OPPA!

SAENGIL CHUKHA HAMNIDA!
SAENGIL CHUKHA HAMNIDA!
SAENGIL CHUKHA JANG HYUN SEUNG
SAENGIL CHUKHA HAMNIDA!

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY YOU!

SARANG HEYO!

2010-08-31T22:34:00.001+08:00

the wedding dresses is damn nice!

http://heckyeahweddingdresses.tumblr.com/

2010-08-31T01:34:00.001+08:00

the tears that flows down my cheeks.

it doesn't taste salty.

but it taste sad and disappointment.

2010-08-31T01:32:00.000+08:00

i miss him alot.

but he just doesn't know it.

2010-08-31T01:24:00.003+08:00

i got nothing to blog.

school started again,

as usual.

nothing special.

friends, families,

still the same as usual.

i eat

i sleep

i wake up early to go to school.

it sucks.

i had several trips to the toilet,

upset stomach.

i bet you didn't know.

cos you never ask.

im rushing my homework.

i sleep late.

wake up early.

hope to get attention.

yes im doing it again.

the same old tactics which i've failed.

dont ask!

its horrible.

why is this happening?!

im going crazy some days!

yes!

i cant control everything inside me now.

if can,

i would like to.....
take a very very long break from this world.

press the hold button first,

then maybe after a few months

or half a year.

then press play again.

i will go to a very quiet and beautiful place

to relax.

as far far far far away from this place as possible.

getting out of this hectic life!

im getting a long break!

i need it so much.

then i'll find someone to talk to.

maybe a stranger.

that i'll never meet again after that day.

2010-08-31T01:22:00.004+08:00

Everyone say they can see rainbows,
filled with colours, in their life.
but why is the rainbow i see, black and white?

2010-08-31T01:22:00.003+08:00

“When all of the other little girls wanted to be a ballerina, I

wanted to be a vampire” ♥

2010-08-22T22:31:00.003+08:00

the betrayal of trust.
is gone when a stab is introduce.
the love for kindness,
soon become a urge for revenge.
time will past.
flower will wither.
peoples will die.
and i will revive.
from my coffin,
i lay under the pale moonlight.
seeking for the right time for revenge.
as i look upon the moon.
the vengence within me grew.
and turn the night sky red.
and the pale moon into a puddle of blood.
i had no soul.
no heart.
cos i ain't human.
my flesh is fake.
its just the work of alchemist and chemical.
but god is kind.
the give me something in return.
fangs, and a pair of hands for revenge.
one by one.
bit by bit.
my revenge is taken.
i can go in peace.
and enjoy my life.

2010-08-22T01:46:00.004+08:00

I am a Vampire Wannabe
I want to look Japanese.
And speak Japanese then korean.
I have a Big Bro, named Lee MinHo.
JEALOUS?! ;D
My laptop is under servicing now!
i miss him!
I'm bored.
but i want to do nothing.
dont want do work! -3-

MY BABY JEALOUS!
BII I LOVE YOU!
now and forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.....
he's trying to break my code now!
have fun dear!
its a little mind game!
i always have such things one!
GOOD LUCK! :P
its hard to crack.
cos yeah. its hard!
love you!

Loves; 장수연AKYMJSYSZBSOSY

2010-08-15T23:57:00.002+08:00

sometimes. things juts dont go as you wish.

for me.

things ALWAYS dont go as how i wish.

sighhhh,

'what's is wrong with me?

how can i keep all this long lasting?

please.

something i want,

is something so simple,

yet i can accomplished.

every time i fail.

sighhhhhh.

2010-08-15T23:38:00.003+08:00

i guess i have to sort out my Bias

hehheh

Hyun Seung

Ki Kwang

Yo Seob

Doo Joon

Dong Woon

Jun Hyung

*YES! the whole of beast *

Lee Joon

Kevin

Xander

and!

BoA

Narsha

ok. i guess so.

but the list will keep going on.

for sure!

yes! i believe!

WAIT!

i say before im not into korean right?!

UGH! anyway,

JAPANESE COME FIRST!

THEN KOREAN!
hahhahahhahaa

SARANG HAE BEAST!

2010-08-15T16:53:00.001+08:00

아기여미

장수연

STUPID IDIOT P. KIDS

2010-08-08T18:36:00.003+08:00

this is something that i saw today.

kids nowadays,

totally have no regards to other kids,

who is different in size.

so what if they're a little bigger in size?

those that means that they can join in to play with you all?

those that means you have the right to not play with them?

they are just big in size.

not having some incurable and infectious disease.

dont you know that everyone have their pride?

everyone wants to have people who they can play, talk and share things with.

wants to be popular.

wants to be loved.

doesn't want to be alone.

alone is a pain that can kill.

and also will scar them emotionally, and psychologically.

when they are not saying it,

doesn't mean you can carry on doing it.

let them be one of you guys.

you treat people this way,

someday,

it will come back to you!

think about it.

what will the parent feel,

if they see their kids being reject by other kids because of their size.

it will pain the parents more.

treat people the way you want them to treat you too.

i know how it feel to be alone.

i know how i feel to be rejected by classmates.

i know how it feels to be traumatized of going to school.

i know how it feels to be bullied!

i know everything.

that's why it feels bad.

and i hate it that much.

that's why until now,

i hate to be left out.

i hate to be alone.

i hate to be treated transparent by friends.

yes, people say.

time will heals all wound.

its correct.

our wound will be healed.

and we will walk away from the shadow also.

but, a scar will be left there to remind us.

we will still recall what happen to us.

yeah.

i guess that's all i have to say.

Primary school kids these days,

have no regards for other people dignity and pride.

THEY SELFISH AND IDIOTS!

BRAINS ARE USED FOR OTHER STUPID STUFFS!

i once think highly of that school.

after what i see today.

i guess, GOOD school dont always produce good student!

there will be still inferior stuffs.

and i will hate these kids!

A knife Stabbed in the Heart, Hurts As Much As What you Did.

2010-08-08T01:31:00.004+08:00

When everyone is feeling down right sad.

there will be a corner;

a shoulder;

a pillow;

a blog;

a space;

a friend.

that they can cry into;

whine and talk about;

to talk with.

there will be a time,

where everyone will feel lonely.

and when they're lonely.

something inside them shuts off from the world.

and it dont open that easily.

slowly more things happens,

and more of it shuts off from reality.

pains, hurts, bad memories, sadness.

is the little pad lock that locks it up.

forever and ever.

unless someone manage to open it.

slowly, lovingly, carefully.

and also with a big heart.

but why is it ?

that there's a feeling of loneliness?

a feeling of emptiness;

a feeling of sadness;

and it can hurt me so badly

a delicate,

that breaks easily.

shattered into pieces,

and cut my fingers when i try to pick it all up.

bandage and tape wont hold it back in place.

nothing works now.

all those are just futile.

they are the liar.

they are the one.

who said one lie,

that cause grieves to me.

i can die from this pain.

and no doubt.

my heart is dead.

Dont worry Sinyee.

Dont be sad now,

I'll cry you sleep alright?

If no ones want to do it.

2010-08-08T01:04:00.003+08:00

im feeling hurt and down-right sad.

what is this feeling?

i nvr had it before.

sad + pain + miserable + agony + hurt + lonely + afraid + frighten + lost.

it all gather up within me.

Dear Angel,

Take me away as you deem fit.

bring me to a place of less hurt.

a peaceful place.

a place that i can live to the fullest.

where everything is in shape.

bring my pain and all else to hell.

but my soul and mind to heaven.

dear angel, please love me.

and dear angel, where are you?

2010-08-06T09:49:00.002+08:00

today is the final last 2 submission.

before the term and semester officially end.

but it doesn't stop here.

on he 1st day of the holiday.

we have to start planning and start working on the next semester project.

it sad for us, isn't it?

but this is the way design life is.

NO REST!
NO BREAKS!

damn it!

its sad. yeah.

sighhhhhhh.

but i haven't submitted my work yet.

gonna bind them up.

its boring in school. yeah.

and recenlty i haven't had enough sleep.

and even food and drink!

yeah! im dehydrating!

pimples are all popping out.

sun, im going fpr a buffet with my mum and siblings.

its a treat from my uncle.

reason? no idea!

hahahaha!

as long as i have sth to eat and its free.

i wont bother that much! LOL!

trying to let myself really take a break before heading straight to work!

im not those workaholic type.

its tiring and can get mad!

im more of it slack and lazy type!

yeah,

and oh oh oh ! today got buffet!

SUSHI! ! ! ! !

SSSSSUUUUUSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHIIIIIIII!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

hello sinyee! submit your work first before you enjoy! =.=

2010-07-29T21:58:00.001+08:00

i'm so tired.

if only i can...

i'll let go of everything,

and head to overseas to study.

2010-07-28T15:53:00.002+08:00

i still wanna get that wrist-let/ bracelet.

its a lil expensive.

and way off my budget.

10.90!

sighhhhh

crazyyy. hahahaha

whut to do?

wait and find again!

i believe i will find cheaper one.

and the eye drops that i buy cant be use with contact lens!

LOL!~

there states " remove contact lens before use. "

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
HOWWWWWWWWWW?!

its not gonna work!

2010-07-28T01:39:00.002+08:00

its so late already.

and im still awake. doing work.

maybe not.

my brain is asleep already.

yeah.

i cant really think that much now.

my left eye is pain!

its red!

its itchy!

its horrible!

sighhhhhhhh!

had a lot of eye drops alr!

yeah.. i just finish typing the 1st topic.

the 2nd one is almost done alr! hahah

cheers ok!

yeah today i after school.

i went to buy eyedrops.

cos my eyes is very dry in class after wearing contacts.

and now that my eyes is red.

it really comes in handy!

i saw that wristlet/bracelet.

its so pretty.

but its kinda ex!

not sure how im gonna match it!

i might get it.

i might not!

what to do?

oh no!

i'm not really able to think so properly right now.

i'm really tired.

but i cant sleep!

if only you're online!

wouldn't that be nice.

i'm gonna put eye drops now!

to keep my eyes refreshed!

its tiring i know!

SINYEE!
drink more water.

you;re having ulcer, cold and runny nose now!

gotta take care!

yeah.

i cant afford to fall sick now!

i need a big hug! yeah! a very big one!

a very warm and nice and lovely one!

2010-07-26T17:11:00.002+08:00

ohhhhh. this is my 471 post!

that's is a lot of post!

i didn't know i will have that much of posts.

but its cool!

anyway,

classes now is being replaced by critique.

2 session each day.

and it will last for 2 days.

monday and thursday!

mine is on thursday.

seeing how the lecturer comments on the people works.

send a shiver down my spine.

'its scary! yeah!

they are very strict.

and my work is not up to any of their standard.

sighhhhh,

what to do?

hahahaah!

just make do with what i have!

im a happy girl!

hahahaha :D

wish me luck for thursday critique session!

i'm just gonna pin up a few of it!~

not all!

never all! hahahaha!

2010-07-25T23:50:00.002+08:00

disneyland here i comes!

heard it from james.'it sound fun.

every single things is of disney themed.

from accessories to food to rides.

DOESN'T IT SOUND EXCITING ALREADY?!

from peter pan, lilo and stitch, monster inc,

cinderella, the princesses, mr incredibles,

bambi, winne the pooh.

maybe if you name it. i might know it!

hahahahah! =P

welll. i'm quite a disney fanatic.

people say that i'm childish.

or i'm still a kid.

partly! its true.

hahaha!

but i still love it!

nothing lesser~!

yeah! hope some day i can get to go to disney land and enjoy myself.

tml school start at 9am.

gotta wake up at 7am.

we got a sch trip!

which comes tgt with assignments!

so boring! D:

alright. im off to bed now!

byes all!

Hide & Seek. you'll never find me!

2010-07-25T01:07:00.003+08:00

" Hide & Seek,

I'll never let you find me.

I'll hide in a very good place where no one can find. "

2010-07-25T00:30:00.001+08:00

within a minute.

my heart just fell from a very high height!

i can feel the stiff and the stuffy-ness.

its so hard to breathe.

up up updatessss

2010-07-24T23:10:00.003+08:00

wow.

its almost been a month since i last updated.

so many things have been happening.

had a guided tour inside esplanade.

went to Malaysia on the 17 of July.

*its 11.11 now~! i miss you!

had submission on 22 & 23 July

and tons of sleepless night before that.

James is discharged from the hospital.

critique week next week.

and i still love him.

the guided tour to esplanade was fun.

there is like a concert hall, a theater and 2 studios!

and they are so awesome inside.

no reception, sound-proof, build on 12m of rubber.

and also a space gap between the theater and the outside world.

to prevent vibration.

yeah. its pretty awesome !

next,

trip to Malaysia.

alright just normal.

visit several temples.

bought some local delicacies back home.

and also souvenir!

yupps.

its just a one day trip.

their lunch and dinner is awesome!

i had like a lot till im so full.

and and and ! had a lot of visit to the toilets too!

spend a lot of time sleeping on the van too!

because we are all exhausted and tired.

wake up ard 4, 4.30 and 5AM!

yeah. reach home ard 10PM!

super tired.

moreover school on the next day.

sleepness nights and submission,

boths are a package.

you get sleepless nights when you have submission.

and you get submission on sleepness nights!

yeah! sleep at 2.30am and have to wake up later at 6 or 6.30am

to prepare to go to sch.

an one hour transport ride! =.=

now that transport is over.

i have to prepare for Critique! ):

and James is discharged from hospital.

after being hospitalised for more than half a year.

due to a car accident.

he's not the only victims.

he and his friends are all injured.

but then again. nothing happen to him.

he's safe and sound.

take care. my friend.

Bii, you're all that matters to me.

the most important one!

i love you always!

i need you.

i'll wait for you!

and go gargle your mouth with salt water.

and cure that thing on your tongue!

ok ok. that's all the updates for now!

guess i'll update again soon!

i hope i can really update real soon!

OH OH OH!

and i update my music box too!

NEW SONGS! hehhehheh!

enjoy !

Loves~!

♡SHARALYN~!

stuck! study tripsssss!~

2010-07-08T15:10:00.002+08:00

YEAH . TIME TO RELEASE THE STUDY TRIP FOR DID STUDENTS.

ONE TO KOREA!

ONE TO HONGKONG!

KOREA STUDY TRIP

ON 29 SEPT TO 5 OCT

to Korea, Seoul.

TO SEE ARCHITECTURE BUILDING

and take photo, video, sketches.

have to do research.

and price is $1600!

=.=

P.S. b2st is in seoul uh uh uh uh uh!

HONG KONG KOREA TRIP

its on the 1st week of the dec holiday!

modern and past architecture, fishing island and some site seeing.

and take photo, video, sketches.

have to do research.

and the price is $1.1k(10%+-)

not including disneyland entrance ticket. ):

P.S. there is a DISNEYLANG located in HONG KONG.

additional news.

ice camp is clashed with korea trip.

how how how how how?!

KOREA;BEAST? HONGKONG;DISNEYLAND? ICECAMP?

WHUTTTTT TOOOOOO DOOOOOOO?!

2010-07-03T14:48:00.002+08:00

http://scatteredroses.multiply.com/journal/item/35/Falling_Rain_Drops

my next creation . (:

Enjoy

-Sharalyn Z.